As the years progress I am surrounded by more and more disappointment. I'm not really depressed by it, I think mainly I feel surprised at how many forms it can take. I know so many people who are constantly disappointed by their friends, lovers, jobs and family. It's a wonder why people continue to have any sort of expectations at all. I would always look at my mother and wonder why she was no longer in touch with her childhood best friend, I used to believe that she must done something unforgivable and lost the friendship. She told me that some people are only meant to be your friend for a time and it is rare to find a friend for life. I didn't really understand that at the time, but as I get older I realize it would almost be impossible to stay friends with the same people. Inevitably in one way or another you will disappoint each other to the point where it's just not worth the energy to keep in contact anymore. Recently on a trip back home around the holidays I had some time to see some friends who I had kept in touch with since moving. The entire trip was one big disappointment after the next and ultimately ended one of my dearest friendships. It is very dangerous to have expectations of anyone in your life, too often they will fall short and you will end up angry. Which is exactly how I felt after my trip, I was never happier to head back to my new state. Of course it is important to have hope. The hope that important people in your life will give you what you need. This does not always happen of course, but ultimately there is really no point in having friends or lovers if you have no hope in their capabilities.
Anyways yesterday I felt very melancholy thinking about all the recent disappointments I have encountered. I'm sure everyone feels this way as they get older, but well..it sucks.
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